I had to watch a mommy lose her sweet baby that was born at twenty-seven weeks. It is one of those things that there are no words for. You spend all your time thinking about why this happened. What was the purpose? Why do babies have to die? It is something I will never understand. During the funeral the pastor said something very powerful. He said
"God doesn't forget. He will give you glimpses"
Most of you know that we lost our 5th baby at just 12 weeks. It was difficult. I struggled a lot! I wrote this post to share how I dealt with my loss. Well at the funeral all of the pain and hurt came flooding back to me and Evanny, who is the sweetest child and had to go to the funeral to support the mom because she cares so much about her). We shed many tears that day. but I got to thinking about what the pastor said.
Glimpses??
Does God give me glimpses? Then I remembered something. I always saw it has hurtful because someone was missing. And to be honest I always feel like someone is missing and that is because they are. I really have six kids. It is just that we haven't met him yet. we haven't met sweet Gabriel but we will one day. The glimpses are subtle. Something you wont notice until I tell you. Just a message for me from God letting me know he hasn't forgotten my pain and he hasn't forgotten my baby.
Here is my glimpse. I could only find a few pictures but there are more. See that gap? in between Malachi and Jericho? This is my glimpse. There should be a 2 1/2 year old baby there. From now on I am choosing to see the glimpse from God in the natural gap they create instead of hurt and sadness. If you have ever lost one of your precious babies be sure you are looking for glimpses from God.
