Glimpses from God

I had to witness something that no mother should ever go through.

I had to watch a mommy lose her sweet baby that was born at twenty-seven weeks. It is one of those things that there are no words for.  You spend all your time thinking about why this happened. What was the purpose? Why do babies have to die?  It is something I will never understand.  During the funeral the pastor said something very powerful. He said

"God doesn't forget. He will give you glimpses"

Most of you know that we lost our 5th baby at just 12 weeks.  It was difficult. I struggled a lot! I wrote this post to share how I dealt with my loss. Well at the funeral all of the pain and hurt came flooding back to me and Evanny, who is the sweetest child and had to go to the funeral to support the mom because she cares so much about her).  We shed many tears that day.  but I got to thinking about what the pastor said.

Glimpses?? 

Does God give me glimpses?  Then I remembered something. I always saw it has hurtful because someone was missing.  And to be honest I always feel like someone is missing and that is because they are. I really have six kids. It is just that we haven't met him yet. we haven't met sweet Gabriel but we will one day.  The glimpses are subtle.  Something you wont notice until I tell you. Just a message for me from God letting me know he hasn't forgotten my pain and he hasn't forgotten my baby. 

Here is my glimpse. I could only find a few pictures but there are more. See that gap?  in between Malachi and Jericho?  This is my glimpse. There should be a 2 1/2 year old baby there.  From now on I am choosing to see the glimpse from God in the natural gap they create instead of  hurt and sadness.  If you have ever lost one of your precious babies be sure you are looking for glimpses from God. 

A Month of Peace

As a mom of kids who love video games and movies, well anything with a screen I have to come up with a balance for our life.  If I let them they would be on a screen ALL DAY!!

I had come to realize that screens were becoming an addiction to our children. They were forgetting that there was more to life than video games and movies. They would sit and watch the clock until screen time!

So on December 31 I made the announcement at dinner time.

 We are taking a month off of screens.

 My announcement was met with a little crying, a little joy, and little wondering what they were going to do for the whole month!

A friend asked What I meant by screens.

What I mean is anything with a screen!
NO TV
NO Tablet
NO Computer
NO DS
NO XBOX

Next question I was met with was All of you?

Well no not really.

 My husband must use his computer for work and school.  I have to have access to my business page Crawley Creations.  Also we don't throw tantrums when we aren't allowed on a screen.  But we decided to limit ours also.  We decided that instead of watching a movie in the evening we would play games. Card games, board games, sometimes we just sat and talked.


We have exactly one week left of our no screen policy, and it has been a great month!  I was amazed at how much they found to do.  They played Lego's, they read books, they played with trains, they colored, and they listened to audio books. and they didn't complain about not having screens.  In fact I asked them to tell me if they were going to write a story about our experience what they would call it and they said A month of Peace (no prompting on my side) hence the name of this post.

We were definitely not perfect. they watched one movie at a friends house while the dads were babysitting, David may have spend a lot of time playing a game on his friends phone once, and Malachi may have played a friends tablet until it died while waiting for Martial arts.  But our normal rule was an hour a day. so that was pretty minor!

oh yeah and one day David and I broke down and watched a movie, but one movie in a month is not to bad! And we have binge watched Arrow until 1 am on the first so we could finish it up before we gave up screens. Hey! I said we weren't perfect!


So what next?

Well we decided to not allow screens on a daily basis.  The kids are much more focused on school with out them and it just overall made out house more peaceful.

Our plan is to allow 30 minutes of educational screen time on Fridays if  there school has been completed for the week.  They also will be allowed one hour of game/movie time on Saturdays as long as they have completed their school and chores for the week.

We will be flexible and occasionally we will sit down in the middle of the week and watch a show but, over all we are better off with out so much screen time.

Be sure to let me know your opinions on limiting or not limiting screen time.

Homeschooling, Cleaning and Nurturing, how I do it all: Part 3

Nurturing

Now that you have seen How we clean and how we home school you are probably thinking I run my family like a military school.  That is definitely not the case even though we are pretty strict.

What does it even mean to nurture?  The conversation I talked about in this post left me feeling as if people thought I couldn't possibly nurture my children as well as clean and home school.  At the time I thought Nurture just meant to hold them , to hug them, to kiss them. If you know me well you know that I am not touchy feely.  So with that definition of nurture in my mind I felt like a great big loser.  Now don't get me wrong I hug, kiss, and hold my babies but sometimes it takes a lot of pushing myself aside.  Anyway on with the real meaning of nurture.

Nurture-verb

1. care for and encourage the growth or development of

1. help or encourage the development of

1. cherish (a hope, belief, or ambition).

Nurture-Noun

1. the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.

1. upbringing, education, and environment, contrasted with inborn characteristics as an influence on or determinant of personality

Synonyms- upbringing, rearing, raising, child care; training, education
So Now that I have the real definition of nurture I feel so much better.  Nurturing isn't really a separate area of life.  Nurturing is homeschooling, It is cleaning and teaching chores. So because I love lists I am going to give you a list of what nurturing is to me.

• Nurturing is raising your kids to be a functional beneficial part of society

• Nurturing is giving them an education whether public, private or home school

• Nurturing is encouraging them to do good and to press on when things get tough

• Nurturing is providing a safe place for them

• Nurturing is believing in  them

• Nurturing is letting them fail sometimes

• Nurturing is letting them explore

I could go on forever with this list but I think you get it.  So I am not sure how to share how I nurture all five of my children.  I believe it is a God given desire for me.  I believe it comes naturally.  I don't believe nurturing has gotten harder as we have added to our family.   So how do I nurture five kids?  I live life.  I teach them.  I discipline them.   I let them grow.  I let them make choices.  I let them think, but most importantly I cherish them.

Homeschooling, Cleaning and Nurturing, how I do it all: Part 2

How I home school five kids at the same time 

Just like cleaning we use a strict schedule for school.  A friend of mine suggested that I get a planner called The Well Planned Day.  It has been wonderful!  I highly suggest it.

 Above is an example of the planner.  It is designed  for up to four students.  Each of my children have a schedule in it that tells what they should be working on at what time.  I am going to make a list of things that help us get it all accomplished.

1. We do Bible every morning.  What better way to start school than to learn about Jesus.
2. We only spend 30 minutes per subject.  I mean I set a timer for 30 minutes.  When the timer rings we move on.
3. We are not running a public school.  We don't have to do school for 8 hours a day, we don't have to stick to text books and we don't have to have school desks. 
4. I try to find curriculum that is multi-level so I can teach multiple kids at once.
5. School is supposed to be fun!  I want my kids to love learning!
6. Fill the littlest kids cups first.
7. Give yourself grace
8. Be Flexible(this is hard for me)

Here is my schedule.  Take a deep breathe it is crazy!!

7 am Bible
7:30 cook breakfast while kids clean rooms
8:00 Eat breakfast
8:30 Before Five in a Row and Foundations A with Malachi while the older kids do morning chores
9:30 Math with David while the other kids do Signing Time on Netflix
10:00 Math with Evanny David does Spanish and the others play in the playroom
10:30 History Mondays and Wednesdays Science Thursdays and Fridays Everyone is included
11:00 Morning snack/break
11:30 Teach English to Evanny and David,  Malachi and Jericho play, Alexis does homework
12:00 Teach Malachi and Alexis Math David and Evanny do homework
12:30 I cook lunch and Teach Alexis Foundations B. During this time Evanny does workbooks with Malachi and David works with Jericho or plays with her.
1:00 Eat Lunch
1:30 I get Jericho down for a nap and we do afternoon chores
2:00 I fold laundry on normal days on Mondays a friend and I sew dresses with our girls for Dress a Girl Around The World.
2:30 FREEDOM!!! Everyone else must read quietly I get to do what ever I need or want to do
3:30 Room of The Day
4:00 Snack
5:00 Cook Dinner
6:00 Eat Dinner
6:30 Evening Chores I leave for the gym at this time on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
7:00 Read aloud and baths for kids
8:00 younger three go to bed older two read
9:00 All kids in bed.



So You see my schedule.  It is crazy and this doesn't include gymnastics, AWANA, Bible Study, Dance, Library Day, or swimming.

I never said it was easy!  and Many days I look at my schedule and say How do I do all of this and my answer is....

By The Grace of God.  

Homeschooling, Cleaning and Nurturing, how I do it all: Part 1

So awhile back I blogged about an experience that made me feel judged.  It wasn't taken how I had hoped it would be so I decided to make a post about How I do everything from nurturing to homeschooling to keeping my house clean.

I started this thinking I could fit it in one post but I cant so I will do a series in the next few days. :)


How I Keep the House Clean( The Hardest Part)


First I keep a very strict schedule for my family. Here is a photo of our Daily Chore Chart.

Every kid has a chart that is divided into morning, afternoon and evening chores.  Each chart has 6 or 7 chores divided up between the three times.  They are also color coded  by time of day.  Each child also has a detailed list of their day for each day of the week.  It tells them everything from chores, to school and it even includes shower times.

On the far right side of our chart is a Room of the day chart.  It lists what room we will be cleaning that day with a list of what needs to be done in each room.  

Here is a list of what our chores are each day

1. 2 loads of laundry. washed, dried, folded and put away
   I fold all of the laundry and put mine, Jericho's and David's away, the kids put their own away.
2. Wash dishes after every meal
   I wash evening dishes and I put all of the dishes away but the girls do all of the washing for lunch and breakfast.  
3. Clean rooms every morning before breakfast
   This includes making beds and bringing dirty laundry down stairs they do not have toys in their rooms.
4. Take out the trash
   This is Little Davids job everyday
5. Vacuum after lunch and dinner
   David and Evanny take turns doing this job
6. Quickly pick up all toys and school supplies once school is done.
   Everyone does this including Jericho and I.
7. Wash table after every meal
   This job rotates between Malachi and Alexis
8. Feed and water the cat
   This is Malachi's Chore
9. Sweep kitchen after dinner
   Malachi helps me do this every evening unless I am gone then he helps his dad sweep.
10. Room of the Day
    We all do this job together

We also do evening chores which includes a lot of things from the list above as well as a quick pick up of toys and making sure everything is in there place. 

It probably seems overwhelming reading all of this in a list but it really isn't, well not all of the time!  Sometimes I am overwhelmed but who isn't?  I feel more at peace with a schedule. We probably spend 1 1/2 hours cleaning broken up throughout the day

The biggest thing that helps is that our family is a team. I am not everyone's maid.  

Play Room Makeover: Part 2

Step One of our playroom makeover was to downsize.

Step two was to sell off all our old toys and use the money for shelving or other items for the playroom.

So I, being the planner I am, drew out a shelf that I wanted in the playroom.  Then  my awesome husband built it for me!  And other than paint the money from the toys covered the cost of the shelves!!

The biggest tip I have for anyone wanting to take on this type of adventure is to keep your kids involved, it is their playroom after all.

So they helped us downsize, sell, build shelves, paint shelves, and reorganize all of the toys.  I always ask for their input and ideas and use some of them.  They loved the process of making the changes and they also enjoyed helping with the projects.  It was fun for all of us.  I did learn a few things though.  Kids do NOT conserve paint and they do NOT paint neatly.  Just take deep breaths and let them slop it on this is supposed to be a fun journey!

Here are some pictures of our new and improved playroom!

Play House area and an Art Easel I picked up for 3.00 at a garage sale

Reading Nook and a specific toy shelf for the baby. I wanted something that was on her level.

Barbie House (Remodel in process)

Book Closet!!  The bottom shelf is craft items that I do not want Jericho to have free access to.

Our amazing toy shelf that my awesome husband built!  I love it it is exactly what I pictured!  

So Here it is!!  We have some other plans but they may take awhile.  So far my thought is this is amazing!  The kids love it and no one has told me they are bored in quite sometime.  So over all I think it is amazing! They think it is amazing It must be amazing!

Play Room Makeover: Part 1

Going back to the basics

Earlier this week I read an article about simplifying the play room.  The playroom has always been my struggle!  It always becomes such a disaster, and if you know me you have heard me say

I HATE TOYS!!!


Well after a little thinking I decided to try a more minimalist approach and I wanted a  more Montessori style play space.

The first thing I had to do was to get my family on board.  So I had the kids make a list of five things they wanted to have in their play space and they struggled to come up with five things!!  This told me that I definitely needed to downsize.

So Step one...

Get

rid of

STUFF!!!

 My girls helped me sort through Barbies.  I chose a small tote and I told them if it didn't fit we were not keeping it. They were okay with this amazingly, we went through every item one at a time and decided what to keep and what to toss.

Above are the before photos. It was so bad! and I really didn't thing we had that many toys! Boy was I wrong!  We threw away 2 trash bags of just trash and we are going to try to sell this heap of toys! 

 Our goal is to use the money from selling the toys to get good shelving solutions and to purchase a few things like an indoor swing and a balance beam.



Following are our after pictures and a list of what we removed.

Eventually this closet will just have books, but that has to wait until we get shelves built.

Okay so pictured above is our step one progress! Yay!  All that you see pictured is all of the toys we have for five kids, and just in case you think they are deprived. They have been playing in their new space for over an hour!!

What we removed

1. About 75% of the toys we had
2. A huge table
3. two large deep toy boxes

So what is next?  First sell these toys! But really step two is shelving.

I cant wait to update you on more progress!

Be Ever Encouraging and Never Questioning

I hate being judged for my choices.  I am sure you do also.  Here is what happened today that sparked this post.


Here we are at the library for No Hunger Summer Lunch.  My kids enjoy going and it is so nice to not have to make lunch every day, it frees up so much time.  Less dishes and less food used means less work for mommy. So we go and we enjoy it and the kids get very nice lunches!! But today here was the scenario

A lady comes up to me commenting about how cute my sweet Jericho is and notices me talking to Malachi and this is how the conversation goes

 "oh how sweet, Is this big brother" --volunteer

I say yes! then I talk to Alexis  and she says

"oh is she your too?"--volunteer

Yes! I have five.  and then I waited for her response

Gasp!!! "Wow you are a busy mom" --Volunteer

and immediately I saw it her eyes and her facial expression changed, she was judging me I can only imagine everything going through her mind then to top it off she asks David what grade he is in and he thinks for a bit and says I will be in fourth grade!

"Oh do you go to school here in Horton?"-- Volunteer

He proudly says "No I am home schooled!!!"

Gasp!!!"Wow your a busy mom"--volunteer

Then she walks away and talks to others but in less then 5 minutes she is back and I know by this time what kind of person I am dealing with.  You know the type? Always questioning never encouraging.

And she says "So do you use the free Kansas home school curriculum?"--Volunteer

I say "No, I piece together different things and build my own "curriculum""

Gasp!!"Wow, that must be a lot of work for you!! "--Volunteer

"I don't mind" I say

And then it comes the questioning look, the glances at my kids sizing them up, are they really educated?

And she proceeds to tell me all of the things that makes my life hard.

"Wow, you have  a lot to do! With educating, cleaning your house, cooking your meals, and nurturing, lots of nurturing!"--Volunteer

I just smiled and went on helping my kids with their meal but inside I was being attacked.  You see homeschooling is a calling. I love homeschooling my children but everyday Satan tells me I am not good enough. He tells me I don't nurture enough, he tells me I don't teach well enough, he tells me my house is not clean enough, he tells me my meals aren't healthy enough.  I have to fight against his lies and conversations like this don't help!!

Then it got me thinking.  These volunteers are from local churches.  If I a believer in Christ feel judged what does a non-believer feel like under this scrutiny?

I feel like as Christians we should be lifting people up not pulling them down! Reminding people how blessed they are not how hard their life is!

So today I didn't feel encouraged or loved. I felt judged, I felt like there was no way I could be doing a good job! My life was too full, too hard. I couldn't possibly have well educated kids.

So to sum it all up remember to encourage each other instead of questioning.  Encouraging people could take a weight off their shoulders and most of all show them Christs love.

Dealing with my loss

First off I am so sorry this has taken so long!  It took me along time to process and have time to write it all out. This will probably be a long post.

As many of you know I had a miscarriage May 2013. it was painful and ugly.  I didn't know how to deal with life. but life goes on, kind of, it goes on with a piece of your heart left behind.  Other people move on but me I stayed in a dark hole for a long time and I questioned God.

WHY!! 

WHY ME! 

WHY NOW! 

WHY? 

WHY didn't  you save him? (I believe God is capable of that! )

I thought you were GOOD?? 

Don't you LOVE me?? 

Then  October 2013 I was pregnant again and I wanted to be happy but I was filled with so much hurt and anxiety  that I couldn't be happy for days after testing, and then I started bleeding again.  and I really started questioning God.  However this time things were different we went straight to the midwife and got an ultrasound and I heard a heart beat. My baby was there!!! I was filled with joy and excitement but it was shadowed in worry the entire pregnancy (All 41 weeks 2 days of it)

Then July 2014 we welcomed our sweet girl into the world. She was perfect and came after a very long hard labor.  She is so precious but for the first few weeks I could barely believe she was here!! I felt like I was living in a dream and any minute she would be whisked away from me but she wasn't and she is perfect and she is already 7 months old!!!! 

Now I still hadn't  dealt with my loss, don't think the joy of this baby erased the pain.  I still miss my sweet baby that I never met.  However it wasn't until February 2015 that I realized I hadn't dealt with my heart. My heart  was  so HARD!!!

I was invited to an IF GATHERING  It was lovely and it was all about Joshua taking his promise land and it was all about God being good. And that was hard for me because I didn't see God as good.  He took my baby right.  He couldn't be good.  Then he started revealing things to me.


Joshua was a slave and then he was free but he wondered for years in the wilderness and then finally God tells him hey I want you all to march around Jericho for 6 days?? SAY WHAT!!  March around this city that has giants in it? But God WHY? WHY Now?   Just take it over.  (sound familiar)  

and in his quiet voice God said to me don't you trust me? 

And this may not mean anything to anyone but me, however My sweet baby girl her name is Jericho Elizabeth.  No not Jericho's walls fall, Not Jericho after a Les Mills pump trainer. 

 But Jericho my promise land and  Elizabeth  God is satisfaction. 

And you know If My Gabriel hadn't went to be with Jesus My Jericho wouldn't be here. I will never know why my baby died and I don't believe God caused him to die. Life happens and being a believer in Christ does not make you immune.  Bad things happen to everyone in every religion and walk of life. I have to remember that God can make a good thing come from an ugly one. Ultimately I have to remember through bad and good God is unchanging and

God is good, All the Time 

I am a Super Mom!!!

Or am I?

I have been wanting to write this post for months. Maybe even a year? but I couldn't decide how to put it into words.  Recently though I went to see the movie Moms Night Out and reality struck me. I can do this post and it is going to be great! (okay maybe not great but I am going to do my best)  and I am going to be real.


One day I was chatting with a friend on Facebook and we were talking about home school. And she said to me "I don't know how you do it!!, You are such a Super Mom"  and honestly it caught me totally off guard!

My first thought was I am not a Super Mom!!! but she was complimenting me and I didn't want to be rude so I said "Thanks! I think the same thing about other moms"

That conversation left me to months of thinking and deciding what is a Super Mom?  WE seem to hear that a lot!! SO he is what my brain kept telling me that a Super Mom was or had.

A Super Mom has it all figured out right? They can balance school, keeping the house up, being a mom, and a great wife, and don't forget meals.  So here is a day in the life of a Super Mom

 She wakes up and reads her Bible and lingers over a nice Hot cup of coffee while the kids are still sleeping.  Then she moseys into the kitchen and the kids are up by now and they help her make oatmeal and fried eggs and a nice piece of fruit and it is all beautifully arranged on the plates. Then the kids clear the table and put their dishes in the dirty dish sink and sit down to start school. (Mind you they are all dressed and their hair is fixed beautifully!) School is accomplished and now it is chore time and the day has been beautiful. They get all the chores done and sit down to a well balanced lunch and then everyone has a quiet time where they read books or nap and mommy gets some quiet time to read, sew, sit, sleep (whatever she wants really)  Once quiet time is over everyone comes down stairs and they do a craft or visit a park. Then they come home and make a beautiful dinner for daddy. When daddy comes home everyone is smiling and joyous and they show him all of the wonderful things they accomplished today Mind you mom is  dressed nicely and wearing makeup and has fixed her hair for the day.....


WAIT A MINUTE!! WHEN DOES THIS HAPPEN?? OK LETS GET BACK TO REALITY!


Here is a day in the life of a real Super Mom.

Mommy wakes up to the noise of screeching (yep screeching) only to find out that The 8 year old is keeping the 2 year old from raiding the pantry again!! Everyone is hungry so she throws oatmeal in the pan and if were lucky we have a piece of fruit with it.  Mommy makes her coffee and maybe gets a chance to drink it hot.  By this time it is after 8 and school has to be started or we will NEVER finish.  So the kids get their school out and mom starts reading lessons and giving assignments She gets interrupted multiple times by the two year old who needs a snack. OR the 2 and 4 year old are screaming.(mind you everyone is still in their Pajamas)  Then she gets back to school and gets assignments laid out for independent work and the phone rings. Mom answers and has to take the call.  The two year old needs another snack and the older two who are supposed to be doing school are punching each other and rolling on the floor in a fight over who gets to use what pencil!!! Then mom realizes that its lunch time and there is nothing prepared. She quickly makes Macaroni and cheese with broccoli in it (hey its got a be a little healthy) and everyone has a piece of fruit.  While mom is cooking the kids are supposed to be cleaning up their chore Zones. It is getting done (kind of). Then they all eat lunch and argue over anything they can argue over.  They double check to make sure school is done and everyone has quiet time.  The two year old naps after getting up 10 times and the older kids read or play Lego's (sometimes they are quiet)  Mom finally takes a shower and gets dressed and tries to have a few minutes of time to herself. Then she looks around and realizes how blessed she really is.  Then kids get up and they play outside. Sometimes mom ignores the house and goes out too. But most of the time she tries to get something done and starts dinner. She gets dinner done and daddy comes home She welcomes him with a kiss and hug, sometimes. She is dressed now but her hair is in a pony tail and she has no make-up on. The kids rush to see daddy they are so happy he is home.  They eat dinner and get kids to bed. Over all it has been a good day. Sure the kitchen floor hasn't been swept, there are 12 baskets of laundry that need folded, the floor needs vacuumed but it will be there tomorrow.  Mom heads off to bed and gets ready for another wild day.

I realized that a Super Mom is just a mom who cares about her kids.  She loves her family and what she does. She strives to be a good mom. She teachers her kids and answers their questions. She does her best with giving them healthy meals. She listens to them. She hugs them.

She doesn't have to do crafts. She doesn't have to go to the park. She doesn't need to wear make-up. She doesn't have to have a spotless house.

A Super Mom is not a mom who has it all together a Super Mom is me. A super Mom is YOU!

Why We Homeschool

I am getting ready to speak at a moms group in our area about why we home school and how it works for our family so I decided to just make it into a blog post. I haven't blogged in way to long!!

I am going to start by saying that homeschooling is NOT for everyone! Then I am going to tell you why it works for us and why we do it.

1) I feel led by God to home school 

When I was about 13 years old i met my first home school friends at camp.They were amazing people! They loved me for me, They were intelligent and thinking individuals.  I wanted to be like them! I wanted to be home schooled! and that is when i decided that home schooling was what I wanted for my kids.  Then fast forward 4 or 5 years. I started dating an amazing man ( who is now my husband) and we were chatting about life and what we wanted and I told him all I want is to be a stay at home mom and home school,  and you know what that amazing man cried because that is exactly what he wanted his wife to do and that was when I knew it was more than just my desire it was Gods desire also.  There is no way i could go through a day of homeschooling with out the backing of  my God.

2) I want to be the single greatest influence in my children's life

I want to watch them learn, I want to be there for them every step of the way, I want to be the one forming the adult they will grow into.  I DO NOT think that other people cant teach my kids and help them grow into fabulous adults, but I want to be the one to do it. In want to stop hear and say I think teachers are amazing!!! I could not do their job on the scale they do. it is one thing to teach your own kids but to teach a classroom full of someone else's kids! WOW! Teachers are amazing people.

3)I can customize their education and learning style

I have very active children who need hands on activities to learn and I have children who want to sit down and do workbooks all day and with homeschooling I can make that happen for any of them!  I can also look at what they are ready for and then start them there.  My oldest i tried to teach to read really early and it was a horrible experience! Now I watch them and see when they are ready.  I believe that it makes learning more fun for the student and easier for the teacher.  One way I customize is in that one of my children excels at math but is a struggling reader at 8 years old. I can give him advanced math and easier reading and it is okay! He can be at a first grade reading level and a 4th grade math level.

4) I was bullied in school

This is  a lame reason to home school but I am being honest here. This is in no way the main reason I home school but I believe it plays a part in my reasoning.  I don't want them to face what I did, I don't want them to draw in a shell and be a shy person because of bullies.  I know I cant shelter them forever but I can protect them and talk about the mean people out there, they know everyone isn't nice.  I am going to give a few examples of things I don't want them to have to deal with at a young age, things i had to deal with.  I don't want sympathy and I am not trying to cry about how bad things were for me, but like I said I am just being honest.  I don't want them to be left out by everyone.  I remember getting bad marks on my report card for not socializing and the reason was no one wanted me to play with them.  I just sat under a tree by myself everyday at recess. I don't want them to be called ugly.  In 6th grade is when i remember this starting and honestly still struggle with this today. I had a girl jab me in the forehead and tell me I had a big head with two bumps on my forehead, I had people tease me and say my bottom lip was big to the point I would bite my lip in to make it look smaller and give myself sores on the inside of my mouth, I had a girl tell me I smelled bad and sprayed me down with air freshener in front of the whole class, I even had someone tell me I talked like a boy. Wow people sure have a way of destroying innocence and self worth.  My kids don't need that.There were many more instances but I will stop here.  I am glad that by homeschooling  I can help them keep that innocence and self worth a little longer.

5) The get to learn lots of different arts, crafts and cooking

One of my favorite things about homeschooling is we have time to spend together doing things other than school.  My kids have learned some really fun and exciting things! My kids ages are 8, 6, 4,  and 21/2 and they have helped me and learned how to freeze apricots, peaches, tomatoes and green beans! They have helped me can tomatoes and apple sauce, they know how to make bread.  They are learning to knit, loom knit, weave, sew, cross stitch and whatever else we decide we want to do and I am learning right beside them!!!

So now you know why we home school. And here is a glimpse of one of our home schooling days.

The hardest things in life

Teach us the most.

In my last post way to long ago I announced we were pregnant with baby number 5.  A few months later I experienced my very first miscarriage an my sweet baby went to be with Jesus.  I was so mad at God for putting me through this. I trusted him with my fertility and I felt betrayed.  I learned though that trusting God doesn't always mean getting what we want or necessarily mean a happy ending. I learned that just because I am pregnant doesn't mean I will get to hold a baby.  I learned many other things and I just want to share some of what God taught me through this horrible trial.

I have an absolutely amazing husband that cares deeply for me. I have always known I was blessed to have him but I needed a reminder of how great he really is.

One thing I learned is I have really great friends! People to hold me up and encourage me and to remind me daily that God is in charge.  Some of them I have never even met in person but they still love and care about me.

I have great kids and I need to let some things go and spend more time with them because I never know when the chance to be with them could be gone.


Here is a few pictures I took when I was struggling.  It was the simple things that kept me going. Here is a few pictures I took of  "weeds" that were growing in my yard as well as my chives, and a beautiful hanging basket that my Mother In law gave me after I lost the baby.

Family Planning

Our Way
*Note* This is what God has done in our lives and may not apply to you, we wont judge you for your choice please don't judge us for ours.

We just announced that we are expecting Baby Number 5!! Yay!! We are so excited and so are our Children! But there are those who are not excited for us, and it is heartbreaking to have someone give you a negative response when you tell them about something so exciting in your life. So I decided to share why we are pregnant with our 5th (well other than the obvious, yes we know what causes it).

Recently we have really started digging in to Gods word and have been learning a lot!  It is amazing what God does in our lives if we let him. So I am going to reveal a little bit of my heart to you today.

Truth is Malachi was a challenging baby, and still is, so I decided we should wait. Well then my reasons for waiting for another baby changed.  They become selfish and vain. Selfish because David was ready for another baby and vain because I was more concerned about my looks and weight loss goal and looking Great for my 10 year high school reunion then what God really wanted for our family. So God revealed to me the importance of big families through my Above Rubies magazine as well as through the book called  A Full Quiver.  I am going to share some Biblical truths as to why we made the decision to not only have a 5th baby but hopefully many more.  

Psalm 127:3-5 says, 3 Children are a heritage from the Lord,offspring a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

Proverbs 17:6 says, “Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their parentage.”

Matthew 18:1-3At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Mark 10:14 But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.

So this is what God Showed us. If you have more questions ask me. OR just go get the book  A Full Quiver and read it through. Who knows it might change your life too or it will at least show you how it has changed ours.

With Love
Rachel

Devotions? What does that mean?

The What, How, When and Why of Devotions

*Note* This is my own opinion and doesn't have to reflect the way you live your life

So in my last post which you can read here I talked about the many changes that have been happening in our lives one being stepping up our relationship with God and doing daily devotions. So now I want to cover what are daily devotions, how do we do them, when do we do them, why do we do them.

So first...

What are Devotions?

Devotions are time spent reading Gods word and praying. Just being in Gods presence. Just listening and spending time with your savior.

How do you do devotions?

So when I was a kid going to church camp I was always taught to do devotions everyday. So in my mind that meant I had to have a really great devotion book, you know like a Daily Bread or something. So I would get one, I would read it  and of course I would read the couple verses that go along with it but I always felt that something was lacking and then I would quit because, well it was lacking. So recently I decided that I don't need devotion books, because I already have the Ultimate Devotion book that was written by God.  So How do I do devotions?  I read The Bible and spend time in prayer. and So far I am doing better than I have ever done before at keeping up with spending time with God.

When is the best time to do devotions?

Well I do devotions at night before going to bed and my husband and I read for a few minutes just before he leaves for work in the morning and we read right after dinner in the evenings while everyone is still sitting around the table.  We chose these times because they work for our family.  We tried doing Family devotions right before bed but that posed a problem on days that everything went crazy and we were just getting home at the kids's bedtime. We would just skip the devotions because everyone was crazy and tired.  I tried doing my devotions at nap time or first thing in the morning (like everyone tells you to do)  but the kids would get up early or I had to train them to keep them in bed at nap and so I was missing out on my time with Jesus. So  I took my husbands advice and started reading before I go to bed. No matter what time it is I try and read for at least a few minutes before drifting off to sleep.  My husbands dad told him once. "what better way to fall asleep than in the presence of God"

So as a summary do devotions when it works for you just make sure you are fitting it in. :)

Why do devotions?

Do devotions because it helps you to be closer to God.  It teaches you to live how he would want you to live.  And it helps you to be a better you.  

Big Changes!

Recently we have made ALOT of changes in our lives.

 First my husband had a job change!! Yay! what a blessing that was!  He is still with the same company just a better position.  Then we moved to be closer to his new location and it has been fabulous!! We are renting a house, and for the first time in our married life we actually have a house! With space! It is amazing and I don't have enough furniture to fill it. LOL

But more than those changes we realized that our relationship with God was greatly lacking so we decided to step it up a little or a lot really. We made a contract that we both signed together stating that we would

 1. Do devotions with our kids every evening at supper time. We just started in Genesis and started reading to them then we discuss what we read and pray

2.Do our own devotions privately before going to bed each night.

3.Do a couples devotion in the morning before David leaves for work and before the kids are out of bed.

It has been fabulous!! we haven't been perfect we have missed a few couples devotions but we are working towards doing better. Our kids have really enjoyed it! and I am amazed and what God brings to the surface when you are spending time with him everyday.  For example, I am learning that I am a little bit of a control freak! Yikes! God is teaching me to relax and let him take care of our problems.  Maybe later I will tell you more about what he is doing but for now I just want to encourage you to make sure your heart is aligned with Gods so that he can help you be a better happier you!

Almond Joys! Yumm!

So recently I have chosen to go completely sugar and grain free! I know I know what do I eat!! Well There is a whole world of food out there It is kind of amazing actually!

 But if you know me you know that I LOVE chocolate! Well this poses a problem for me because Most chocolate is loaded with sugar right?? Well I created a lovely recipe today that gave me a delicious chocolaty treat! So here it is!

Healthy Almond Joys
5 squares unsweetened baking chocolate
3 T coconut oil
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
1/2 cup full fat coconut milk
48 almonds
liquid stevia
2 tsp. pure vanilla


In a double boiler melt chocolate and coconut oil together. after chocolate is completely melted add vanilla and 3 droppers full of liquid stevia. In a separate bowl mix together coconut and coconut milk and add 5 drops of stevia.  Now in a mini muffin pan place 2 almonds in each cup then put about 1 tsp of chocolate on top of the almonds, then add about a teaspoon of your coconut mixture and top with another teaspoon or so of chocolate. Put in the refrigerator until the chocolate harden back up and enjoy!! They are lovely!!!

Homemade Christmas Gifts!

One thing our family does at get together to cut costs is to do a Homemade Gift Exchange. I love it it is super fun! Here is what I came up with this year!

Cinnamon Applesauce ornaments that the kids made for Grandma Kathy! We found the recipe on this blog

I also made this adorable car caddy that I found on this blog!

Here it is all opened up! And Little David volunteered to give away 6 cars with the gift. 

I made this run around bag! No pattern just traced a bag !

And it is reversible!

A Sword and Shield! Totally from my own pattern! I made the sword with hot glue and old packing foam. The shield of course is stuffed like a pillow.

I can't take credit for these adorable houses. I got the idea on Pinterest  from this  blog but the full tutorial is here .  I did however make the bed and chair all on my own!.
 

and they close up and you can carry them with the pretty ribbon handles.

Beauty in the Midst of Chaos

Our country has had so much horror happen in the last month that it is so hard to remember that there is still beauty here.  I was reminded of some beauty this week and I wanted to share with you. 

 Beauty for me was my kids all dressed up for their Christmas Program at church sitting in front of Grandma Patty's Christmas tree, it was the children at church singing in their program, it was the dad in front of us looking at his son with so much love that you could never capture it in a photo, it was the girl a few rows ahead worshiping through sign language, it was the precious time spent with my husband assembling a Christmas gift, it was the preciousness of my husband rocking the baby to sleep for his afternoon nap, it was the preciousness of my girls cuddled up with Granddad to watch a movie, it was the beauty of the pair of cardinals in our back yard, it was the uncommon visit from my Great Grandpa, and it was the sweet newborn that visited my house this week.

So many times we seem to be blinded by the ugliness and Chaos that we forget to see the beauty.  What Beauty have you seen lately?  Leave me a comment, help someone else see beauty today. 

I captured a few glimpses of how beauty appeared to me. I hope you  enjoy the pictures. 

Getting Ready For Christmas, A Family Tradition

Every year shortly after Thanksgiving we decorate our Christmas tree and we make it a party!! So here are a few of the fun things we did! Finger foods, Air 1 Christmas music and of course Christmas decorations. What do you do special in the Christmas season?

Politics!- I don't know where I stand!

As you know yesterday was election day! Yay we got to vote! I believe everyone should vote but I do wonder sometimes if my little vote really matters. I am far from political.  I wish I understood more about our country and our governments decisions. But how do you learn??? Everything I research is so biased!  I have the republicans saying that democrats are lazy, homosexual baby killers and then I have the democrats saying the republicans are  selfish, uneducated, hate mongering homophobes.  So where do you go from there!!! I don't even know who to vote for because of all of the negativity  and bashing from both sides.  

I woke up this morning to a Facebook news feed flooded with hatred! People talking about losing friends due to their comments. I find this to be horribly saddening  What kind of country do we live in?  What kind of people are we?  

Here are a few of the negative comments I saw today.

• Sad day in America when for four years you can't get done what you say you will and then we reelect you
• Wow....this is a really sad night for America...
• I wonder how awkward it feels for Obama to realize half of our country did not vote for him?
• Judging by the electoral vote map the Midwest has again shown to have common sense. Can't say so much for the east and west coast.
• Don't worry guys the democrats put in their vote but most of the republicans are off work now so it will change soon.

and I think one of the most hurtful ones to me was this

I am just going to go back to helping those who want to be helped and make our own future, withOUT the help of the government.


This was hurtful to me because of my circumstances of life right now. As you have seen in earlier posts my family is on food stamps. My husband works 50 hours a week normally and 80-90 hours a week during harvest and we struggle to feed our family. I am building a business from home and working hard to get us into a better life where we font need assistance. but sometimes it is necessary and not because people are lazy.  I have heard numerous people say that we shouldn't go to the government for help we should go to the church(which in my opinion is the entire body of Christ not just one establishment) and well the church is failing and people are starving, and until you see your sweet children hungry you will never understand why people accept assistance.

 ...then i did see a few more positive posts like these

• No matter who wins this election, we as Christians are to continue to pray for the leaders of our country, we are to continue to be salt and light, we are to continue to disciple believers, we are to continue to allow our beliefs to govern what we think, say and do and we are to continue to evangelize this world.....Time to read II Timothy 3:1-17 especially verses 14-17.....
  Bad mouthing our leaders is not a part of our DNA as believers - it's time believers need to start acting like we read our Bibles and understand the times we live in. --Doug Jones
• I am so disappointed and my heart feels so heavy. :( Yet my God is so much bigger!
• This is our President and as a country that believes "One Nation Under God" we must pray over him and not persecute him.
  Pray that he will make the best decisions for our country and not him alone government as a whole.
• PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!

So regardless of how you voted and how the election turned out it is our responsibility as a country and as an American to show respect to our president and one another.  I am appalled at the stories I hear Republicans flipping off democrats, stealing bumper stickers, ect.  and I am appalled at the Democrats for stating that republicans are uneducated hate mongers.  But more than anything I am appalled at the people who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ yet look just like everyone else.  I believe that God had a hand in choosing our president and I believe no matter what he deserves our respect.  I also think that we need to step it up as Christians and show our respect for others.  I have friends of both parties and they know me as a conservative. but we agree to disagree.  We have freedom of speech but that doesn't make it ok to disrespect your fellow Americans or your president.